Waiting to Exhale

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere. and it's gonna take so long for me to get somewhere. Sometimes I feel so heavy hearted but I can't explain cuz I'm so guarded but that's a lonely road to travel and a heavy load to bear. And it's a long long way to Heaven but I gotta get there. Can you send an angel? Can you send me an angel to guide me?

Cuz I'm walking down the road like a wounded child. No street lights to light my path or the screeching sounds of a mother's endearing voice calling me home. And my mind is pounding, clouded with thoughts. Remember when you cursed your mom behind her back or when you let him touch you right there and oohhh it felt so good to feel loved. You never heard the words but you wanted to believe they left his mouth and touched your soul. How could you forget the dark nights that left you yearning; running to the men that would give you a pair of diamond earrings with a black eye to match. How could you not allow men to take advantage of your daughter when it happened to you? He said he loved you, you were his pride and joy. He bought you all the toys you wanted and was overprotective when it came to the little boys. He rocked you on his lap when you couldn't sleep and when mommy was gone he'd put you to sleep and she never believed. She blamed you instead. Said you were fast, always liked to spread your legs. Said she loved him and wouldn't let you ruin their joy. "Stop chasing grown men, go find you a little boy." So hate lived in your heart and darkness in your thoughts and you swore you could never forgive him but God, but God, but..thank God He's the Master and the greatest Healer of them all. And He told me I'd survive and I'd be okay, but I'd never be able to move on unless I forgave. So I'm at this four way stop and to my right is momma and my left daddy dearest and in front of me a mirrored image that brings me to tears. And I cry until my my heart can cry no more and embrace all three of my monsters, but my journey is not done cuz as I continue to walk the street lights come on and the sun begins to shine until I walk into my Father's arms and the road no longer seems so long.