I think I'm being selfish...scratch that...I know I'm being selfish in this situation! We have immense history but I just don't believe it'll ever work for us, so I let that be known and so far I'm doin a really good job of keeping him at a distance! Really I am! But I find myself wanting to slip back into old habits of fostering false hope and indulging in fruitless emotions! I like the fact that if I want to talk to someone and noone else is available I can call or text him and he answers! I like the attention, I like the love...I like it I'm sorry! It's selfish I know because I say that it's so over for us but I like to keep him around for the convenience and comfort of it all! I'm sorry!! At least I can admit it right! I should get points for that right!!! lol..k...I guess not!
On another note...I miss him! And I can't believe I'm feeling like this! And I can't believe I'm actually being open about this! Uggghhhh I don't like this!
Besides the boys lol...there's alot of shit going on with school right now and I just don't feel like talking about it ever!!! Just know that...I find myself feeling really sad when I think about it! It'll all be okay I know but I can't help but get a bit in my feelings about it! Whatevs! More prayer and hard work!
~Lata for ya~
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1 comment:
i can relate :/
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