So...wow...so much shit...where do I start!!!!!!!
*K so over the weekend, remember homeboy that has a girlfriend...yea...he stayed over twice...first night we messed around second night we just talked til I fell asleep...I didn't feel bead and everything was cool until today when I saw him in the Punchout with her!! He came over gave me a hug, then she saw me and waved and I waved back and I felt like I should have been stoned or something....then like 15-20 minutes after I saw them he text me and was like "it was nice seeing you this evening" and I'm like damn how u thinking bout me after you was just with your girl? So I reply "yea it was kinda awkward"....Idk man...I don't think I can do this!!! I mean I've done it before but this is fucked up....and I know now that I have to do something bout it cuz it's actually on my mind! Aaarrrrgggghhhhhh...why can't I be heartless and insensitive?? But I don't want him to think I'm a jumpoff who don't care that he has a girl!! Idk...help anyone?????
**Someone really close to me was contemplating suicide and it tore my heart apart!! That shit was super scary....I've never had someone so close to me experience that (not that I know of), but that was serious!!! I couldn't deal!! I know life's hard sometimes but it will ALWAYS get better!! I am just super super grateful that God is in the soul saving business man and He's into giving second chances!!! This situation makes me go back to the convo at our sleepover...if not before, now is the time to get serious about God!!!!!!!!! I love you guys!!!
My fav song right now well the best rendition of it I could find on youtube...download it it's Hezekiah Walker- Grateful:
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I don't even know what to say Kate. I spoke to you today about that first part. The second part really just messed me up...i couldn't focus at all yesterday. Definitely, feel you with the last part...need need need to get back on track....just dont know which direction is up or down anymore...im all messed up...
so like i said b4 your life could be a tv show but your right when all is wrong you know there is one thing that will alwayz be right and thats god so keep your head right and your life in god's hands
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